There is a point I can come to in the course of a crazy day where my tongue barrels down like runaway freight train hell-bent on destruction. Without even realizing it, I unleash a torrent of flaming frustration about every imperfection I see. And my home becomes a dark place where the crack of eggshells can be heard as my kids try to find a safe place to walk and breathe.

I’m not proud of that woman. I despise her. I don’t want to be her. But just as the Apostle Paul lamented the man he sometimes was but didn’t want to be, I lament her.

Let’s be honest—real life doesn’t look like our Instagram feed. Well, maybe my Instagram feed because I’m terrible at Instagram. But our kids see the parts of us that we carefully cut out of our social persona and the faith-filled façade we wear to church.

Whenever you find yourself being that parent you don’t want to be, remember these four simple steps:

1. STOP—The only thing you have the power to control in life is you. So stop.

2. STARE—At the carpet for few minutes, and by that I mean get on your knees and pray.

3. STAMMER—An apology, first to God and then to your kids.

4. STEER—Yourself in the opposite direct. Instead of speaking critical words of death, SPEAK LIFE.

Help your child to see the godly person our heavenly Father sees in them.

SPEAK LIFE.

The power of life and death are in the tongue. Use your tongue to speak life over your kids.

“He is the God who brings life from the dead and calls things that are not as though they were.” Romans 4:17