Wrestling with What God Allows—Is It OK to Question Him?
Have you ever found yourself asking, “Is it okay to be confused, even angry, with what God allows in my life? Is it ok to question Him?”
I want to talk about this honestly—because I believe the way we walk through suffering (big and small!) isn’t just about us. Our kids are watching. Our faith grows—or withers—in these moments. As a mom, I know what it’s like to pray and pray and pray… and still feel like heaven is silent. I know the ache of seeing my kids or loved ones in pain, and wondering, “God, where are you in this?”
Wrestling with God isn’t something most of us are taught is “okay” in the church. We’re supposed to submit. Trust. Move on.
But what if wrestling is actually a part of faith, not a failure of it?
That’s what we’re diving into this week on Christian Parent/Crazy World
🤼♀️ Why This Conversation Matters
Let’s be real: Life doesn’t always tie up neatly with a bow—especially as parents. When what we’re living through doesn’t line up with what we thought God should allow, we need space for raw honesty. Not “pretend you’re fine” faith, but honest, bruised, sometimes limping faith.
I wanted to have this conversation exactly as I wrestle through it—in the same real, sometimes messy way I do with my closest friends. Because whether we’re facing loss, unanswered prayers, or seeing our kids struggle or even walk through prodigal seasons, we NEED a faith that lets us be real.
🎙 Meet My Guests: Dr. Erin Barry & Susan Frost
This week, I’m joined by the friends who have walked me through some of my darkest valleys—Dr. Erin Barry and Susan Frost.
👩⚕️ Dr. Erin Barry is a licensed Christian counselor, a lifelong ministry leader with her husband, and a mom and grandmother who understands grief, healing, and the journey of walking with God when the path doesn’t make sense.
🌱 Susan Frost is a certified trauma-informed life coach, wife, and mom who ministers to individuals and couples in the grind and grit of real life. Her home is a haven for those trying to make sense of their suffering, and her wisdom has ministered deeply to me.
A super-grainy photo of Susan, Erin, & me (circa 2019)
Why Erin and Susan? Because they are my closest friends, they’ve been in the trenches themselves—and because they know what it means to walk with others through confusion, pain, and the questions we’re sometimes afraid to voice.
🌿 Key Takeaways from the Episode
🙇 Wrestling Is Biblical—And Honest
- Even biblical heroes like Jacob, Job, and David “wrestled” with God—bringing their complaints, questions, and even anger to Him (see Genesis 32).
- Faith isn’t pretending everything is okay. Sometimes faith is refusing to let go of God, even when we’re wounded and have no answers.
🤲 The Value (and Need!) of Safe Community
- Not everyone in your Christian circle will understand your wrestling—that’s okay. Find a “safe circle” of friends who will sit with you, listen, and not try to fix you with easy answers.
- Sometimes you need different people for different needs—some friends handle logistics, others the deep heart talks.
💔 When Suffering Gets Messy
- It’s often the “little” losses that become the final straw (even the loss of a pet, which I shared about vulnerably!).
- God isn’t afraid of messy, raw questions. He meets us there.
🧭 Healthy Wrestling vs. Losing Hope
- Wrestling keeps you engaging with God—however broken, angry, or silent you feel inside.
- Unhealthy wrestling leads us to harden our hearts or run to substitutes instead of bringing our pain and confusion to the Lord.
🙏 You Don’t Have to Defend God
- Our loved ones (and we ourselves!) need permission to grieve and question. God can handle our honest doubts and our kids’ hardest questions.
👂 Your Next Step: Listen & Share
Are you or someone you know carrying wounds or questions about God’s silence or suffering? Listen to this episode for raw honesty, biblical hope, and a model for spiritual wrestling that doesn’t let go.
🎧 Listen now on Life Audio by clicking below:
🔗 Or find CP/CW on Pocket Casts, Google Podcasts, iHeartRadio, Spotify, Apple Podcasts
or wherever you get your podcasts.
Consider sharing with a friend who needs the freedom to be real with God—especially another mom or parent walking a weary road.
💬 Quote to Reflect On
The Importance of Suffering for Growth: “We wrestle because things don’t look like we expected them to look. So… we’re walking one way, then we encounter this difficulty. We wrestle with the Lord. Once we pass through it, our walk looks different… Mistakes, pain and suffering, that’s actually how you get to what really matters and how you become who you’re intended to be.”
~ Dr. Erin Barry
Letting Life Be Messy: “If we don’t allow ourselves to wrestle, then we’re not gonna let our friends wrestle. We’re not gonna let our kids wrestle… It just snowballs to where we just want everything to be easy and perfect, and that’s that’s not real life.”
~ Susan Frost
💪 Keep Going: An Encouraging Word for Parents
If you’re tired of pretending you have it all together, you don’t have to. God is not shocked by your disappointment, your confusion, or even your anger. Bring it all to Him—including the prayers that go unanswered and the questions that keep you up at night.
Your kids need to see an honest faith—a faith that wrestles, limps, and keeps showing up. You’re not alone in your struggle or your questions. God is faithful to meet you—even in the middle of your mess. And He’s not finished with your story.
One step at a time, friend. Each honest prayer, each tear, each time you refuse to walk away is worship. Let’s keep wrestling toward Him, together.
Episode Links
- inseparableLives.com – More about Dr. Erin Barry and her ministry.
- Yes, You Can Homeschool! The Terrified Parent’s Companion To Homeschool Success – Buy on Amazon
- Catherine’s Free Parenting Resources
