Have you ever gone through a season where you just didn’t get what God was doing—and you were left wondering if He was paying attention at all?

Yeah. Me too. Recently.

I think Christian culture, especially for those of us trying to raise kids in this wild, upside-down world, often quietly (or not-so-quietly) pushes us to “have it all together.” Don’t doubt. Don’t complain. Definitely don’t wrestle aloud with God or people might question your faith!

But if you have ever walked through suffering—loss, injustice, or just the pileup of “life is too much right now”—you know it’s not that simple.

And as parents, we often carry pain not just for ourselves, but for our children, our friends, our community. We’re expected to be the strong ones. But what are we supposed to do with all that heartache, confusion, or anger when God doesn’t show up the way we prayed He would?

But let me clearly state what I have come to believe… wrestling with God when life hurts is not a sign of weak faith. It’s the mark of real, mature, rooted faith. And it’s the Biblical way to walk through suffering.  But most of us never learned how to do it.

That’s why I knew it was time to have a deeply honest conversation about this overlooked spiritual skill. Because this isn’t just a theoretical theology issue—it’s the stuff that makes or breaks our faith, especially when our kids are watching how we walk through sorrow and questions.

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🎙 Meet My Trusted Friends: Dr. Erin Barry & Susan Frost

This week I invited two of my dearest friends and fellow wrestlers—Dr. Erin Barry and Susan Frost—back on Christian Parent/Crazy World for round two on wrestling through the tough stuff with God, and they dig deep into this topic with me. (Be sure to check out last week’s episode #176—Wrestling with What God Allows: Is It OK To Question Him?” to get up to speed on this conversation.) These women aren’t just credentialed in their fields; they live this stuff.

👩‍⚕️ Erin Barry has her doctorate in Christian counseling and is a licensed clinical counselor who quite literally walks people through their hardest seasons and deepest pain every day. She gets what suffering can do to your faith and your sanity.

❤️ Susan Frost is a certified trauma coach, couples counselor, and in-home ministry leader—someone who knows firsthand about heartbreak, trauma, and the long journey to healing in God’s presence. More importantly, Susan is the honest voice in the Bible study who offers that controversial opinion that keeps you up up night.

Together, these are the women I run to when I’m falling apart—and they are exactly the voices we need to walk through suffering and find God in the middle of it. We go way back…
 

Another super-grainy photo of Susan, Erin, & me (circa 2019) in pants that I wish still fit… Ahem.

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Here’s what we talked about:

🌿 4 Anchors for Walking Through Suffering—with God, Not Away from Him

1️⃣ Lean into God’s Family

You don’t have to pretend you’re okay when you’re suffering. In fact, Scripture is full of people who wrestled, questioned, and brought their pain to God in community. But not everyone can or should handle your deepest pain. Find your inner circle—the friends who can sit, listen, and “not try to fix it.” If you don’t have that, pray for it. God designed us to need safe people.

2️⃣ Lean into God’s Character

It’s not a coincidence the enemy’s favorite tactic in our suffering is to whisper, “God isn’t really good, is He?” When we’re hurting, the very first thing we tend to doubt is God’s goodness, faithfulness, or love. That’s the enemy’s plan! Our job? Run toward the truth of who God has shown Himself to be—sometimes recalling the ways He showed up in the past even when you can’t see it now. As Erin said, “God never changes. He’s the same yesterday, today, and forever … We know His character and we trust that, even if we don’t see it in this moment.”

3️⃣ Lean into God’s Word

When you can’t feel God, go to what you know about God—His Word. Sometimes it was literally a God-given Psalm that kept me afloat through unexplainable tragedy. The raw honesty of Psalm 44 rocked me recently: the sons of Korah challenge God, asking why He’s allowing suffering when they’ve walked in faithfulness. It stunned me to realize God left that complaint in the Bible as a blueprint for us—permission to wrestle, question, and bring even our accusations to Him.

4️⃣ Lean into God’s arms, or Lament 

So much of our suffering grows in the dark. But lament—bringing our grief, questions, and even anger to God—is holy. It’s not just crying; it’s the honest, messy, biblical process of “God, I don’t get it, but I’m coming to You anyway.” About a third of the Psalms are laments, each following a sacred pattern: naming pain, asking God to act, affirming His character, then—even if it’s just a single line—praising Him.

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✨ Key Takeaways to Anchor Your Faith (and Your Kids):

• Wrestling with God is not only okay—it’s biblical (just look at Jacob, Job, the Psalms, and even lament books like Lamentations!)
• Find your “inner circle”—people who can handle sitting with your pain, not just fixing it.
• Doubting God’s character is the enemy’s #1 plan in suffering. Lean into what you know of His love and justice in the hard moments.
• God can handle your honesty. He invites, even delights in, your rawest questions. Bring your complaint to Him, not just others.
• Lament is a spiritual discipline, not a failure of faith. Journaling, weeping, pounding the pillow—take it to God.
• Invite your kids into real faith. Let them see you wrestle with God honestly, so they’ll know faith isn’t fake and suffering doesn’t mean abandonment.

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🔗 Listen In—And Take the Next Step

Ready for a faith that can handle real heartbreak?
👉 Listen to this episode of Christian Parent/Crazy World on Life Audio right here!
 

🔗 Or find CP/CW on Pocket Casts, Google Podcasts, iHeartRadio, Spotify, Apple Podcasts 
or wherever you get your podcasts.
 

📖 This week, take one honest lament to God. Journal your pain. Pray through Psalm 44. Ask God, “What part of Your character do I need to lean into right now?” And talk with a trusted friend who won’t try to “fix” you.

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💬 Quotes to Reflect On:

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🌺 Keep Going: A Word for Parents in Suffering

If you’re in a hard season, friend, I want to speak this over you: God is not afraid of your questions. He’s not offended by your frustration. He’s not embarrassed by your tears. You can bring it all to Him. And you must—because He alone can meet you there and begin redeeming your story.

REMEMBER: Your kids don’t need a perfect parent. They need a parent who clings to Jesus in the hardest moments; someone who wrestles with God and walks out trust on shaky ground. That is a legacy worth passing on.

This week, let’s lean into those four anchors—God’s family, God’s character, God’s Word, and God’s arms in honest lament. Parenting in this crazy world means suffering will come, but our faith does not have to crack under the weight.

God chose you for these kids, in this time, for a reason. Run to His arms. Teach your children that real faith is forged in the fire—and you don’t have to walk through it alone.

EPISODE LINKS

• inseparableLives.com – More about Dr. Erin Barry and her ministr
• Catherine Segars’ FREE Christ-Centered Parenting Resources
• Lyle Phillips “What To Do with a Word from God” (Legacy Nashville)

Share this episode with a friend who’s walking through a hard season, and tag your thoughts or questions with #ChristianParentCrazyWorld on social media.